My word for the year... legacy. I was thinking over all of the things I wanted to do, or be, or accomplish and was trying to figure out how I could put them into one word... It wasn't easy. There wasn't one word that could focus all of the thoughts and feelings I had into such a tiny little package, but then it came to me. I was listening to a song by Nichole Nordeman, a song I had heard many times before, but God spoke to me in that moment, and it was amazing. I just felt His spirit and saw the woman HE saw in me, strong, passionate, caring, stubborn, Mother, Wife, Sister... daughter both of this earth and not. What would I leave when I leave this world? Would others see me as He does, would they see HIM in ME? And that's how I came to Legacy. I want to leave a Legacy of a woman who God's influence was apparent in my life, a legacy of a Mother who raised her children with love and discipline, a Godly example for my friends and family, a supportive and loving wife... a child of God. So that's my word. My challenge is in everything I do, in the relationships I develop, the conversations I have, the choices I make... everything is a cumulative effort to leave footprints that have God's love and mercy woven and spun into a beautiful masterpiece that will be my life's legacy.
Here are some of the Lyrics to the song:
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You
Enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
Not well traveled, not well read
not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead,
"Well Done" good and faithful one...
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Friday, December 26, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Well now I know why the older generation make southern climates their place to retreat for the winter. While, yes, I did miss waking up this Christmas morning to snow.. getting in the car and seeing that the temp was 68 and sunny... that was pretty fabulous. David and I both agree that the lack of definite season changes will take some getting used to, but being outdoor people, being able to go for a bike ride on Christmas eve was right up our alley!
This is the first Christmas that David and I spent in our own home as a family. Usually we go to NY and spend it at my Mother's house. As I posted previously, we went there for Thanksgiving instead, so that we could start our own traditions as a growing family. It was hard not seeing everyone, and waking up to a quiet house with no hustle and bustle of people making coffee, Mom's giggles and whispers as she set up all our stockings in the proper positions on the floor. The excitement of watching the tears and laughter of my sisters as they opened their gifts. But not today; It was my turn to play Mom, to get everyone around, turn on the coffee and set up the stockings. It was good to feel like a "big girl" but at the same time, made me feel very homesick for the first time in quite a while. Makes me realize how special my family is to me, and how dearly those traditions were engraved into my heart.
So Dawson got a big gift this year, I mean really big. We are hoping he gets A LOT of years use out of this one. We found out that we have another boy on the way, so this will be perfect for the two of them to wrestle around in and release extra energy on one another instead of me. LOL
This one of David and Dawson is my favorite! I'm not sure who is having more fun!!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
David, Bubbers and I, made the long trip to NY for Thanksgiving. It was so beautiful to see the soft snow fall as if it were in slow motion. I remember when I was a little girl watching the first snow falling from heaven, and how I always felt like I was in a black and white movie. Such a surreal feeling. It was so great to see the family and drive on local roads that you know every twist and turn to. It came with little surprise to me that I missed being here in NC, my "home", while I was in NY. I love my little life here; I love what we are doing, and the people that God has placed into my life. It was another reassurance that this is home now and this is where we are meant to be.
Dawson was developing an ear infection and getting more and more cantankerous as the days went by. I felt my self constantly making excuses for his behaviour and seeking the approval and acknowledgement from my family that he really is a good child and that I am a good Mother. It was a good trip home, but the energy it took to be on my toes to please everyone, not start arguments, keep Dawson happy (Thank God for David who totally rescued me by helping out with him full-time), interact positively and loving in every conversation, all while dealing with the normal stress of a dysfunctional family environment, going to 4 houses for Thanksgiving; due to separated homes on both David's and my side, and being sick and pregnant.... it was more than I had energy to do. I found myself in my Mothers bathroom, on my knees, crying for help and energy to get through the next day or so till we went home. Why hadn't I started the trip on my knees? Why as Mothers, or even just as people, do we think we can do it on our own? Why do wee seek approval and acceptance from friends and family. It seems only after ending up on our faces, do we admit we need our Heavenly Father to say, you are a treasured child of the most high God, you are loved and special, and then pick us up to carry us through.
This is a little blurb from my devotional that seemed perfect for this. I wish I had read this one before the trip:
People pleasing is bondage; living in fear cripples us. Jesus set an example of choosing to follow God and doing what is right in His eyes rather then trying to please other people. Living by impossible standards we can never meet will make us miserable. We can't do it all; we can't have the perfect job or family or house; we can't make a particular sum of money that will make us happy. Trying to obtain these standards will only leave us frustrated and empty. If you find that the opinions of others are holding you hostage, ask God to set you free and to remind you that His opinion of you is the only one that matters.
There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear.
1 John 4:18
I am reminded to live one day at a time, living fully each day. I must live knowing that I am accepted through God, even when I'm not accepted by my peers.